Confessions Of a Teenager(Short story)

Finally I realized that I'm falling for you. My instincts proved that I'm finding excuses to meet you and talk to you. But the problem is my friend. I can't avoid and escape her. you know that too. And moreover we are riding on the same bus and getting down in the same stop. And this is where I feel grateful to exchange glances for a brief moment. You know too that. I don't dare directly to speak with you after all you are my senior. Do you have any idea how I feel when you sit at the gallery with all your friends and those idiots calling me to showoff their stunts. 'Ragging', the word itself is scary but when you were one among them it is acceptable since you stood against it. There comes my friend again thanking you like always. Should I say or share my feelings or should I talk to her how I feel about you. Or should I? No,No.. I don't think it is a good idea, but can I just share something like that to my friend. I'm not clear about something like that. Though you  dropped hints, I'm not quick enough to take or consider and we never had direct conversation so how can I go and say those precious feelings of mine to anyone. My friend is quick enough to read me, after all she is my friend right? she came with all possible conclusions but not you. I'm happy she didn't get more. Its true that it took time for me to realize and confess what is in my heart but I didn't know that I was out of time already. Maybe you should have persuaded me or you should have asked me directly about it. You, didn't dare and I didn't speak expecting you truly love me and it(feelings) will not fade easily. My friend being my friend took one more step and given a hand, a promise of life with you. But how can she when she know about us. I know you were stressed and disappointed with me, but still how can you accept her feelings. Don't you think it is too much. By the way you both started hiding your relationship from me when I am ready to share my feelings with you. I'm lost completely. It took me like, like what.. I don't know what to do and I am waiting when you guys will reveal. Yes, I'm lost, disappointed and felt cheated but what pissed me more you know, it was my mom's question. She asked me why I was crying? Don't you think it was the most embarrassing situation? How can I show my face like that. Though she guessed it she didn't make me feel vulnerable saying beta! next time avoid failures and score good marks. She's the best.. though she knew I'm good at studies she proved that she's good at making me feel loved. That's the true love which never fades is what I felt that moment. Seconds took me to realize the truth that it was not the love I deserve since it is just infatuation which fades with time. Later when they showed their colors of love in front of me, I felt guilty for nothing... just like him apologizing for nothing.  But in the end, even they broke up for nothing and felt regret for nothing.


--By Anjana Kone